jekesta

( spoilers for gossip girl, which I think was episode 12 of season 5. )

Why even are we still getting Gossip Girl when America has stolen The Good Wife and Person of Interest this week? HM? Do they have a reason for having a rest now, is it because they've been back on air for nearly two weeks so they're TIRED AND SAD? America always does this, comes back from Christmas and then is all distant and unreliable. I need ALL THE TV now, while we're still at least vaguely able to access it.

A brief interlude for some cheering pictures of great beauty:



( I have started watching LA Law. )

Look at Neil Robertson pretending to love his child! He looks so natural and loving with him. He cannot really love him, or he would have forgotten how to play snooker, that is how CHILDREN WORK, Neil.

He was really really nice, though, wasn't he? I am doing AMAZING at liking Neil Robertson. He seems to have settled into playing properly, so he's not always . . . sort of thinking too much. I still can't really look at him when he's looking at the table, but ONLY because I can feel awkward embarrassment radiating from his middle.

I'm not even hating Shaun Murphy. He was really nice about being beaten, and sometimes now things he says aren't entirely annoyingly terrible. Still a bit patronising about how lucky they were to have Robertson in the game, because he always talks about people as if he was in a different generation or class to them, and he's not. But yes. Not vile.

Some of it is just that I like people when they've been around for a while longer, and they're a bit older.

Eventually Neil Robertson has to learn that he can lose finals. That's an Important Lesson. Although he has now won TWO matches with my support, and he has a child he quite loves, and he is away from his family and loved ones, so basically he is just refusing all the traditional weaknesses. He's probably alien.

I like that Neil's wife isn't coming in for photos.

Much as I hate Dennis Taylor, it's been TERRIFIC having a whole week without Willie Thorne. One day will they let Terry Griffiths and Stephen Hendry commentate together? Preferably on a Mark Williams match? This is my new ambition for snooker.

I wish the bbc didn't have a million random episodes of BORING FUCKING COAST to put on after snooker all the fucking time. ONCE in history I remember the afternoon session finishing early and us being allowed Tom and Jerry cartoons, so that is what I always expect. Other times we sometimes get episodes of Porridge. Or if it's too short for that, maybe we could just have pictures of Breckin Meyer for a while. Or a compilation of snooker songvids. Or . . . I hate Coast.

My policy of attempting to stick up for new people against old people does not stretch to supporting Judd Trump over Ronnie O'Sullivan. Not out of love or hate for either of them, I just think it would be terrible if Ronnie got into the habit of losing to Judd Trump.

I'm longing for Judd Trump to have a collapse of confidence, Ronnie never did and it's what made him rubbish for so long. One of the things. His collapse doesn't necessarily have to be now, maybe next season, snooker has to break him, it's snooker's one true skill. And if you win snooker WITHOUT the sick worry inside that tells you how easily snooker might desert you, then IT'S SORT OF NOT LIKE WINNING AT ALL. Really that is one of the things that bothered me about Ronnie for ages, as well as him being a knob.

Is it just me or does everyone at the Masters look ill and sad and broken? Maybe the colour on my telly is just funny, although Hazel looks fine. I think Barry Hearn might be properly exhausting people, like to dangerous notes from their doctors kind of levels. They weren't that well to start with, they're pale and weak, but now they look tired and even more depressed than normal, and I'm a bit concerned.

I would tell you about other things but I hate all the other things. I don't even really love snooker. I'm having a dip.

I attempted to read other books and they're all TERRIBLE ALL OF THEM, so I'm reading Stephen King again, I'm reading Under The Dome, which I have NEVER READ, which means that I win. I hate the cover I have bought, it's appalling. But I appreciate how they have used as much of the page as they could for words, although weirdly they've not bothered to make the words smaller. Not weirdly, it's paper quality and ink and all those awful things that make books a bit rubbish nowadays.

OH HENDRY. Hendry commentating on Judd Trump is kind of awesome, because he thinks he's him, and then he's disappointed when Judd isn't actually as good as he is. Judd just refused a pot, and Hendry went 'WHAT, WHY? WHAT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND' and Dennis went 'I think he's learning not to go for everything' and Hendry went 'THAT IS THE WRONG LESSON, LET ME TALK TO HIM, LET ME TEACH HIM'. They used different words and fewer capitals.

Ronnie doesn't seem to remember WHO HE IS.

eta: I'm finding it quite nice that the crowd are still sticking up for Ronnie, because they obviously love trump a lot, and it's like they're genuinely sticking up for Ronnie out of love, not just idiocy. (I don't think all of Ronnie's fans stick up for him out of idiocy, OBVIOUSLY, just the London crowds.)

DENNIS SAID AGAIN that the London crowds were always really fair, and he said it AGAIN to Hendry, but this time Hendry just said, 'they weren't fair to me when I was playing Jimmy'. And Dennis had to admit that OBVIOUSLY THEY WEREN'T. Because he just talks bollocks.

I finished my book so I'm restless and cross and I'll have to read something else, but I don't really want to. I haven't finished a book for ages.

I'm going to try to read Terry Pratchett, but I don't really like Vimes very much.

I'm struggling with talking to people, and typing and I'm behind with all the things.

I had a cold that lasted one day yesterday and then made me sleep for nearly twenty hours, which was suspicious . . . and now I think there's something growing inside me. But that's only because I read Dreamcatcher. It's why I wouldn't have read Dreamcatcher if I'd remembered which one it was even though I love it.

I didn't enjoy the last Sherlock, you probably gathered. I'm sorry. It wasn't actually awful awful or anything. I might even carry on watching it. I'm genuinely not judging you for loving it, I'm very used to this feeling now, and I know it's my problem, but - and I say this with all the love in the world - you're just ALL SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR WORDS. ::flails at you:: I hate to resort to gifs, but I just don't get it:



But then I'm still in love with Franklin and Bash enough that that gif makes me feel kindlier towards everyone, even Stephen Moffat. So my whole opinion/taste is slightly suspect. (I'm SO IN LOVE WITH F&B, STILL WAITING FOR IT TO FADE. It's bound to fade but . . . I don't know how. I can't imagine loving Peter and Jared for the next ten years or whatever, because there's NOTHING ABOUT THEM, except EVERYTHING, but they're just happy and beautiful and in love, they're not terribly deep, they're not complicated, they're clearly not one of the GREATEST LOVE STORIES EVER TOLD, they don't match up to Blake and Avon even SLIGHTLY, but they make me so so so happy. I LOVE HOW HAPPY THEY ARE, and I LOVE WHEN THEY'RE NOT HAPPY BECAUSE OH GOD THEY'RE SO PRETTY, and . . yeah. There are whole sections of me that are given over entirely to wishing it was June. I can't talk to you properly about it because of the typing and the lack of vocabulary and because often I just end up in places where I find ways that F&B might end with TRAGEDY and I know it won't, I'm not even saying it should, it's the lightest easiest show I've ever known, it'll end in the diner with DEEP LOVE and pretences towards heterosexuality, but the idea of Franklin and Bash ending in tragedy leaves me in the HAPPIEST SPIN. I don't even want them to die, I just want them to split up and betray each other a bit, for Peter to become a serious 'proper' lawyer for ridiculous heterosexual reasons, and for Jared to be destroyed and hollow and never trust again and I want it to end with them walking away from each other. BECAUSE FOR REASONS.)

Matthew and John played snooker, and it was okay, even though they are OLD LIKE DINOSAURS. (And John Higgins thinks nerves are easier on the young players, does John not remember being young? BECAUSE HE BASICALLY DIED IN EVERY FRAME, he had NO holding-togetherness to speak of. They all only remember about three matches of their careers, the ones where they flew and managed and didn't even pause, and they all think that's *real*. They're fools.)

I've bought a headboard which makes me happy.

I've been feeling tired and heavy and just weird for days now and then this morning I found some thyroxine and I thought yeah, no, I don't really remember when I last took any of that. So maybe that will help a bit.

Snooker: Of all the idiotic things Dennis Taylor has ever said, saying that the London crowd is always very fair is SURELY the most. Also, he said it TO STEPHEN HENDRY. WHILE WATCHING DING PLAY RONNIE. Yes, no, fuck off, it's like he is in a championship final of being ENTIRELY INANE, it's embarrassing listening to him now, not just annoying, how could you fire Clive when you had Dennis Taylor and Willie Thorne there?

(I'm going to stick up for Stevens against Higgins, and Maguire against Williams. Except not Maguire, because I refuse to waste my time on him, but I will hope he wins, while supporting Williams. Because I am supporting a new generation and I know that Stevens is in no way part of a new generation, but he's more so than Higgins, who has, let's be fair, won enough things now. I was also sticking up for Ding against O'Sullivan, obviously, but that didn't take.)

The Firm ep 101.102: Is anyone watching The Firm? I'm seeing little being said about it. I watched the first double length episode thing yesterday and it was mostly a bit hilarious, but I'm going to stay with it for a bit, because it's the sort of thing my sister and I can watch together easily enough, and take the piss out of while also enjoying. (H5-0 works very well for the taking the piss out of, but LITERALLY I don't know who did the murder in the episode we watched yesterday because it's IMPOSSIBLE to focus on the tedium of H50.)

(If you're not watching The Firm, it is based on the book by John Grisham which was apparently a film with my boy in it, but it is not a film I have memory of, I suspect it was terrible because John Grisham makes terrible films, but anyway, it's a sort of five or ten years on thing. It's not exactly just an adaptation of a book. I like that a bit. I don't know how well they'll do it, but I like it a bit for being a new story attempt, unless it's just an adaptation of a follow up book that I don't know about, but all the same yeah. It's about a John Grisham lawyer that's in witness protection, and he has a little law firm with Juliette Lewis (accidentally I hate Juliette Lewis) and Ray K and he's married to the widow out of Deadwood, and the cylon woman is trying to hire him to work for a big firm and we're in a six week flashback almost all the time, but I quite like the lighting.)

Also the main guy, I think his name is Josh Lucas? I am saying that in puzzled tones, because it's the absolutely most generic soft fair name that anyone could come up with, it's a character name if ever I heard one, but I think it's his real name. Have you ever seen him in other things? Is he always quite so camp? I cannot take anything he says seriously, because it's all said in a camp slightly sarcastic voice taking the piss voice. It's really really odd because I don't think it's what they're going for at all, and I don't know if it's the result of him attempting an accent? Or if it's a genuine accent from somewhere where you just sound camp and slightly oh my god about everything you say? Or he might be attempting to talk low or something. It's just . . . if it's not on purpose then they must have noticed. Maybe they liked it, how he TOOK THE PISS out of their entire script? I sort of love it.

Person of Interest 111: OH, it's just SO PRETTY. I was really worried I wouldn't love it and that I had only loved it because I watched it a bit together in a clump and stuff, but his cheekbones are STILL HILARIOUS, and they're lovely together, and I love how old they are and all the ways they talk and why aren't they just MARRIED AND LIVING TOGETHER MAKING EACH OTHER EGGS, I WANT THEM TO COOK FOR EACH OTHER AND MOVE EACH OTHER'S STUFF AND TOUCH EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS. I love the police woman and I like the stories of the week and I like the story of the past and I like Person of Interest very much, I should probably go and find its fandom and read fic, but I sort of don't need fic so much as I need canon, lots of canon. I like the simplicity of ( Spoiler. )

I have finished nypd blue. I am not as upset as I might have been, 12 seasons was just about perfect, people will say it was too many, but better one or two seasons too many with mark-paul gosselaar in them, than cancelling nypd blue too quickly, and it never went bad, it just went samey. ( Spoilers. )

Hanna left nypd blue and MPG has IMMEDIATELY started flirting with her replacement and now sleeping with her, and REALLY TV? This is just petty.

( Boring words about nypd. As opposed to my usual words which are scintillating and wondrous. )


Mostly I'm not here to garble about nypd. I want to say these things:

- Thank you for Christmas cards! Thank you especially to Morganmuffle who sent me one Christmas tree decoration, and also to the SOMEONE ELSE who I have totally forgotten who was, but you sent me a beautiful felt christmas tree and I love it and I've been meaning to say so for a month, please don't hate me for not remembering who you are, I told myself to remember and then I didn't remember. Also, everyone else who sent me things, I tried to thank people as they got here but I know I forgot. And Cynjen, your card came today and I have a badge, but still no snow! Thank you.

- I am sorry to people I owe post to. Maybe tomorrow.

- A MASSIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to capriuni. ::DANCES YOU VERY MUCH::

Also I sort of want to write DEEP MEANINGFUL WORDS of love for Franklin & Bash, but I won't because I'm hungry. Also I'm reading Stephen King because I've been forgetting to read books, OH GOD I love READING STEPHEN KING. I read him amazingly well, still better than I read anything else. I wish he'd write me some space opera. That would be swell.

( Edited to add more words about nypd blue. I'm up to 1218. )

I have no digestive biscuits and getting just the one episode of The Good Wife a week is no longer satisfactory.

I have basically had people since Christmas, that's sort of overstating things, but if you factor in hibernation times between visitors then it's been kind of constant. I miss AIR. Weather and trees.

I watched things that are not nypd or franklin and bash. You're meant to call nypd blue 'blue' but I don't find it convincing.

I watched Thor and I rather liked it. He was really smiley.

I watched MI.4 and wasn't that taken. I liked Jeremy Renner more in his two minutes in Thor than in his hours with Tom Cruise. I find the mission impossible films weird, they're always like they're about to get good just before they stop, like they filmed the two hours of back story they wrote to something else but then never film the something else bit.

I watched Leverage. OH GOD LEVERAGE, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR RIDICULOUS . . . I don't really know how to describe the thing Leverage thinks it's doing. Plot, I suppose. They pretended they might get a helicopter, but they just had some more boring scenes with Nate instead. Helicopters are entirely what Leverage is missing. Helicopters and board games and snakes. MORE HELICOPTERS, LESS PLOT.

I watched Supernatural the newest episode. I kind of loved it because I have lowered my standards to the ground for Supernatural, I hope it lasts forever.

I watched the good wife and I loved every moment of it.

I watched Sherlock, and I thought it was awful. I did so well at not judging s1 and now I hate everything about it. Hm.

I watched another film but I can't bring it to mind at all. It didn't have Breckin Meyer in it. So many things without him. His wrists. I . . . you should see them, but I am not terribly awake. I do think people should chain him to stuff more than they do.

Tomorrow I'm going to go outside and look at real things and make sure they're still there. I haven't got the hang of this year at all.

I should be awake, I didn't really surface until about five this afternoon. It was great though, because within an hour we'd succeeded at cake, tea and an episode of Pointless. It was like slipping in ten metres before the end of a marathon, we got to celebrate having made it to tea time without really making it to tea time. But I slightly miss daylight. I need AIR. And Rain. (I mean the falling water, but I would accept the korean popstar.)

I had something important to tell you as well. But I don't know it.

I love fire. And salad cream. And the diner of love. Those are my top three things now. Because I don't have digestive biscuits. And I love tap water. And elephants. And Arthur C Clarke.

I realise I've rather spent my post about nypd for the day, but unfortunately you're not the boss of me.

OH MY GOD.

Bobby Simone showed up again. My emotions, they are EVERYWHERE. I want to make a million contradictory statements. What I really want to do is to quote you EVERY MOMENT and then tell you how it was perfect and how it made LITERALLY NO SENSE and how it was rubbish and how it meant SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS, ALL OF THEM HEARTBREAKING, and how I cried.

Sometimes I limit myself to one moment's moaning about John Kelly per post. That is not my rule for this post. On account of how Bobby Simone turned up and made me cry. THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIM.

( Read more... )

I'll stop over-reacting to Andy Sipowicz's manpain now. I'm making a cake. I have baked heartbreak and tears into it. Good.

I think season 12 of nypd blue might be trying to kill me. But in a nice way, like it loves me for finally eventually reaching this point. I was a fool not to fully commit to nypd sooner, but I love myself forever for waiting until I was IN LOVE with MPG before WATCHING MPG. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM.

He's going off the rails, only he's sort of rubbish at it, so he's drinking a lot and sleeping with women secretaries (he specified), but he's not alcoholic, he's not getting into fights, he's turning up to work, and he's not sleeping with hookers. Which, as he keeps telling Andy, makes him BETTER THAN ANDY. And Andy is just tired of him. Andy is hating it in that way that ex-smokers are judgier than non-smokers, and he doesn't know how to deal with it, and it's BEAUTIFUL. ( More words about John Clark Junior and also the new lieutenant who is awful and fantastic. )

In non-nypd news, Clare was here with some DeLuises, and that was terrific. She's gone now, but I have to see other people later, when what I want to do is eat Christmas cake and watch NYPD and darts until suddenly it is all gone and I am dead. But that's fine. I've got a cold that is ALL IN MY NOSE and it hurts so much.

1. I made tumblr work. Thank you to everyone who listened to me whine. (Tumblr won't let me log in if I'm using Ghostery, it turns out. But once I'm logged in it doesn't mind if I turn it on then. I know that add-on compatibility is something I could have checked before all the whining, but you'll notice that I didn't.)

2. TumblrmakesnoSENSEwithoutmissing-ewhatisitthinking?

3. The obscenity trial has turned out okay. That's nice. ( I've cut this for tidiness, although it's not very long. It's just not really saying anything except that I don't find pissing or fisting particularly icky, which I think you probably already know. )

4. I've de-tinseled my house. It looks AWFUL.

5. Variously my friends are watching The Invisible Man, Crusoe and Alias Smith and Jones. OH GOD I NEED ALL THE EPISODES. They are so so so beautiful, all of them, but I don't have time, so I am watching vids instead. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH VIDS.

6. I'm going to say something awful now that I don't really mean and I'm only saying it because I love MPG in NYPD BLUE. ( regarding suicide, and spoilers for season 11 of nypd )

7. I'd like to apologise for the state of my bathroom. Retrospectively for people who were just here, and in advance of Clare who is coming this evening. It's a terrible mess. I hadn't really looked at it. I'm not going to clean it though. I really really can't be bothered, is that okay?

8. Whenever I see Marilyn Monroe in that perfume advert it MAKES ME THINK OF CHANEL No.5. Surely that's not just me. I don't think they've thought it through.

Oh god I am at home. ::clings to home:: Christmas was weird. And now I have a thing. It is either a headache or it is a migraine. I never know how to decide, I don't mean to claim migraines if I'm having nothing of the sort. I am fine. If there is no light. OR Moving. I am typing without looking. You can probably tell that, if I've lost the home keys. I don't know. I'll probably delete it if I have, so let's assume I haven't and it's all fine. It just KEEPS hurting. I did all the things that sometimes help and they didn't help and I lived all the way through crhistmas and NOW THIS. I hate this.

I had to come to the internet despite it being made of LIGHT, because I am so in love with Person of Interest and nobody cares. I LOVE IT. I LOVE ALL OF IT THAT THERE HAS VEEN. Probably I don't love it capitally. But! And this is unusual, I can watch it without wishing Jared and Peter were in it. They wouldn't suit it at all. I LOVE HOW OLD THE GUY IS. I think he might be callsed John. And the ohter one who might be called, one of those names like Howard or Vincent, Harold? is even older. I LOVE THEM BOTH. Quietly. I love how they are quietly working towards each other with love in their wry smiles, and OCCASIONALLY A TOUCH TO THE SHOULDER. I completely approve of letting them get shot and then tending to each other, and one of them going 'thanks for giving me purpose and all' while the other one went 'OH MY GOD YOU ARE THE ONLY PURPOSE' and THEIR EYES. They're not even. This is all the happenings that I want in all the future episodes. I find them to be probably not slashed by their own writers. Not quite what I mean but I don't know how to mean everything I say, it's exhausting and MY EYES HURT. From actual headache, not like angsty heartbreak like men on the tv all are having. I liked especially when one of them let a spoiler happen and the other one spoilered. The soldier man has ridiculous cheek bones that make me laugh out loud. (The woman cop is also amazing and I love her voice and her face and I love that she is exasperated by the awesome vigilanteing that they are doing all about her. Are you watching it? You ought. Not like Homeland. I don't know. It's not seriousl like Homeland, and it's not AMAZING like Franklin and Bash. I don't know which bits of my flist I am recommending Person of Ineterest to. Ones who don't care if something is majoritarily brown and a bit slow, and who quite like Ben(?( from Lost. He might not have been called Ben. He might not even be real. EVERYTHING IS VERY VAGUE.

Somewhere on my flist I have seen fandom for this thing being talked about, so I will find it when the light is well again, although mostly I want crossovers with the big fake knightrider of my heart, because the cheekbones man is a wonderful age older than Mike and would SMILE AT HIM and they would fight people and JOHN WOULD LOOK WELL PRETTY IN KITT and . . fighting and kissing, but only John kissing Mike in a kind of realising that casual sex with pretty boys who've been mindwiped by the military isn't his thing any more because he is in love with . . . his boyfriend. USUALLY I SUES MY EYES AND LOOK THINGS UP IN IMDB TO TALK TO YOU WITH. WORDS.

That is all my news. Probably.

JUNE IS FOREVER AWAY AND IT IS ALL THAT I WANT. And also for the pain to end. And also trifle. THREE THINGS.

Today is the most christmassy of ALL THE DAYS so far, I like it VERY MUCH.

A few days ago my mum came round with a stolen christmas tree so now my house is PROPERLY FESTIVE and smells fantastic. (Also she brought me a present which is apparently not only something I haven't asked for, but something I have SPECIFICALLY asked her not to buy me. She's very odd.)

Then today The postman brought me ALL OF CHRISTMAS. They are panicking at our post office, ages ago they wrote to us and explained that they couldn't cope any more - nothing to do with Christmas, just generally, it was the best letter ever. We can't really guarantee delivery of anything any more, we don't know when you'll get your post, we don't know what's happening - and then Christmas fell on them, and basically they're delivering stuff about once a fortnight I think. So today I got MASSES OF CARDS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH:):):):):):):):):):):):) And also ALL THE PARCELS. Which means my family shall have GIFTS. And I am going to watch Christmas films and do wrapping up and this is the BEST BIT of christmas.

Here is the calendar I have made for my sister and me this year. I failed to make one last year, so this is series 3.

  
  
  
( Read more... )

(You should be able to click on them to make them bigger.) (In my real actual calendar none of the pictures overlap each other.) (Please don't tell me if my episodes are out of order, I couldn't be bothered to check and it's too late now.) (If you want to see the other years, the years of series 1 and 2, they are here.) (I don't know the point of refraining from contrast on Blakes 7, it suits it SO HARD.)

There was something else I was going to tell you, but I have a feeling it was just pictures of Mark-Paul Gosselaar, so I'll not. (I can't put pictures of MPG and Blake in the same post, even when there is so little actual Blake. I feel completely ridiculous about loving Franklin and Bash when I look at Blakes 7.)

It's only Tuesday, I keep assuming Wednesday.

Oh, also, Madzilla linked to this youtube thing of Kate Mulgrew wishing people (americans or her fans, I don't know) a happy holiday. What I love about it most is how down to business it is, it starts off with her just going 'RIGHT, happy holidays, 1. Jewish people, 2. Christians, 3. JOY TO EVERYONE', and then it's just like an annual performance review of AMERICA, she makes polite noises about how it's been a great year but then says she's just a little concerned about the state of the nation, and she pauses and it just SOUNDS like she is going to BLAME YOU IN PARTICULAR FOR THAT AND EXPLAIN HOW DISAPPOINTED SHE IS, and how she'll need to start seeing improvements by February or there will have to be changes. But then she settles for platitudes about how she is sure you will all work harder and turn things around. (PLEASE TRY TO PLEASE HER, AMERICA.) I love that she quotes Katharine Hepburn, that is the best way to mend things.

( Cut because this is me whining about not being hungry and I know that's a thing some people can't read. )

Although actually washing my hair was important to me in some ways and I'm not missing that at all.

My to do list is a thing of WONDER. I wrapped a present today and wrote a card. Two. Two cards. Dude, I know.

---

It's not half past one any more, it's three-ish. I went away and ate a sandwich and stopped whining. But only now I'm watching Masterchef.

DO NOT SPOILER ME FOR MASTERCHEF, I AM BEHIND ON IT. I am watching the first episode of the finals week. I haven't even finished that episode, although I probably have if you're reading this in some time later time.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. (a) oh my god this restaurant is ridiculous. (b) What on EARTH is the first best restaurant in the world doing? (c) HOW ARE THESE BROTHERS NOT FICTIONAL? This is CLEARLY A FICTION. I bet there are a million tv scripts being made right now, they're INCREDIBLE GENIUS FOOD BROTHERS who all run different sections of the second best restaurant in the world JUST UP THE ROAD from their parents' restaurant where their mum still cooks REAL FOOD, ACTUAL FOOD THAT IS NOT JUST AROMAS AND ESSENCES AND ART. OH MY GOD CRAZY CHEF BROTHERS. IT WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME A BIT IF THEY WERE ASSASSINS BY NIGHT. Except they don't have time, because they're busy making tiny baubles of oil infused with catnip or something.

I wondered if their english wasn't good enough to really tell the dudes what they thought of their food, when they sent three random masterchef finalists in to COOK FOOD FOR THE GENIUSES. I would have CRIED AND LEFT. I would have served them my tears maybe, they would have liked that. But yes, they were sort of polite and nice about everything, and I didn't know if they just didn't know the words for disappointment or you know, I didn't know. And then the last guy, who had NEARLY LEFT IN A STROP because everything he touched broke and they were making him cook for these people who were just CLEARLY A MILLION FLOORS ABOVE HIM IN THE TOWER OF FOOD, but for him they suddenly found the word 'perfect' and 'fantastic' and OH GOD THE OLDER BROTHER JUST WHENEVER HE TASTED IT HE SORT OF WINKED SLIGHTLY LIKE HE HAD FOUND SOMETHING AMAZING. I don't know how he sat there while they said his food was perfect and didn't melt. (They liked his food best because the other two cooked foods from their own childhood, but he cooked simple spanish flavours beautifully, which is the food of their childhood, and therefore SUPERIOR.)

They're being allowed to cook RIDICULOUS DISHES NOW. They have to make essential oil and serve stuff on cling film and evaporate lemons and stuff. I sort of want to discover new worlds just so that these brothers can FIND THINGS THERE AND COOK THEM RIDICULOUSLY. The middle brother does wine. I love him. They all sat at a table for ages, and the other two sat politely and the middle brother sat and moved his wine in its glass so that he could see it and smell it and HE LOVES WINE AND IT IS LIKE SILK OR METAL OR SOMETHING ONLY HE HAS EVER SEEN. They're all amazing, the younger one is a CARICATURE OF A CHEF, he is nearly entirely nose, which is not to say just that it's a large nose, but it is the ONLY THING IMPORTANT TO HIM. The older brother is just LOVELY and is a lot like he is doing ALL THE SENSIBLE THINGS while his brothers are frivolous with drink and sweets, and they could both clearly outcook ANYONE ELSE IN THE COUNTRY, but they don't have to because they have Joan.

I have to go now then.

I have a strand of fairy lights so long that they don't fit they go up the walls and across the room and still there is more.

All of them: the christmas films I love. Dean Cain makes NOTHING BUT christmas films, but not the best ones.

All my plants are dead, they are FAILING at festive.

I have not written you a card, I am failing at efficient.

Tired.

I had a young girl come and sing a christmas carol at me, it was terrible, I don't know an appropriate response, I am never opening the door again.

I watched the Good Wife, both of the episodes I was behind, I adore the Good Wife.

Did I ever mention my love for Nora Flynn? It's gigantic and lasts forever. She's out of prisoner you don't care, you couldn't not care harder, you're a terrible listener.

I have a hedgehog. A festive one.

I *don't* have satsumas, or chocolates.

The things I have to do this week seem to add up to more than this week even though some of them are very easy they are just very much there and I think I need to spend three days in bed and I don't have the time.

All of my tinsel is the wrong colour or shape or greatness or it is just repellent to my walls.

David . . . whatever his name is, let us pretend he is my BEST FRIEND and I call him David, he has made tv again, and he's put dustin hoffman in it, that's not just me, that's weird, and it's okay that he's writing tv about horses and not about police because in a lot of ways John From CinCinnati was not about police either and in a little way Deadwood was about a doctor and a bartender, but I don't like horses and I don't know why they're making this thing. Does it have Bobby Hobbes in it? Bobby Hobbes rings a bell.

I don't want to be best friends with David Milch. I remembered his name.

( A paragraph about nypd blue. I'M NOT PRETENDING IT IS A WELL FORMED PARAGRAPH or has ANY POINT. I like you to know what's happening in nypd blue. I think it's probably helpful for . . . OH GOD it's not at all, is it? I@m sorry. I'll start backdating it or something. )

I'm so hungry. I'm not asleep. I've accidentally destroyed my sleep, I left it somewhere other. I keep making plans to make it back, but I never get there.

Snooker's awful.

The bbc have gone weird with inverted commas. Their headlines on the rss feed are awash with them, it's like they don't really believe any of their news today. 'new checks' on eurostar loop; tom cruise 'working on' top gun; polar bear 'cannibalism' revealed; rural broadband 'stalls'; blur to get 'lifetime' achievement award; mental risk 'same' after abortion. WHY DO THEY SUDDENLY DOUBT EVERYTHING???????

I'm really hungry, but it seems like a strange time to eat spaghetti, and that is all I care for.

The Big Bang Theory is so so so so so bad this season.

[many deleted words about my complicated feelings of love for EVERY SECOND OF PRISONER and a terrible description of this long mammoth horrible fic I am writing that is gloopy and distressed and ridic and mostly SERIOUSLY MOSTLY just about Rita and Bea leaning on things while not really looking at each other, while everyone else pretends this isn't the most intense sort of pressure in the world and act like they're not terrified of imminent WAR. It should have been for nano, I could have written it in a month, but instead now it might last forever, I don't know how to cope with it. I think everything would be fine, I think they would get along in just the best ways, but at the moment they can't communicate, they're dead, and there are time difficulties happening, and they're just aware of each other and don't know what's planning to happen and they don't know who each other are and I JUST WANT THEM TO STAND NEAR EACH OTHER FOR ETERNITY ALSO SOMETIMES TO FIGHT THINGS, PROBABLY DEMONS OH GOD I WISH THEY WERE A PERSON THAT I COULD ACTUALLY JUST MARRY AND KEEP FOREVER, THE LEAVING ME THING OF PRISONER IS STILL NOT OKAY.]

Did I mention that in nypd blue they had a thing where they got this guy for five muggings and then he wouldn't admit to the sixth, but they sort of pressured him to, and he did, and then they found out it wasn't him, and they were just REALLY EMBARRASSED and awkward about having accidentally set him up for an attempted murder charge and luckily the witness died so they could drop it without admitting to anything? It was glorious. Andy was just cross. Everything that happens, Andy is just cross. His most hated lawyer is here at the moment making him CROSS.

I'm behind on all the tv because of the snooker and the snooker has repaid me with NOTHING. Actually it destroyed Selby and Murphy and didn't even let Ebdon breathe. And it did make John Higgins world champion FOUR TIMES. I wish Barry Hearn hadn't ruined: the meaningfulness of the rankings; the meaningfulness of the uk tournament; the young ali carter; everything.

Very occasionally on Prisoner if you couldn't sleep someone would make you a cup of tea, but usually you just had to cry in the dark while people shouted at you to be quiet or threatened to stab you in the morning and the guards told you you had to toughen up. When you can't sleep in Franklin and Bash you're just allowed to sneak into Peter's bed and snuggle. This is less canonical than the Prisoner thing, but ALSO 100% MORE AWESOME.

Things that i recommend:

1. ignoring snooker for greater triumph, you're all ahead of me there.

2. WHITE LADIES. You're probably not winning at this one, unless you are TERRIBLY TERRIBLY DRUNK. It's mainly gin. All the drinks I mix are mainly gin because it is the NICE BIT of all the drinks that are nice. But it also has lemon juice and cointreau, just for a background echo. It took a lot of experimenting to make everything perfect but now it is PERFECT and I am going to drink this for the rest of my life. Or until the lemons run out in about half an hour and I eat some food and become sobererr.

3. avoiding people who pretend they like snooker, but actually just are pretending to like snooker so that they can come and annoy you while the snooker is on by not really caring about the snooker and not really loving John Parrott. THEY ARE THE WORST PEOPLE.


I made something of a policy about updating livejournal ALL THE TIME. Aren't you glad? I'm sorry. I'll send you a christmas card to make up, but I don't know how to make a poll just now. BUT I HAVE EVERY INTENTION. You should send me one also, I have an address, but you don't have to.

Um. Did something happen? Like some massive change of director or writer or world view or something? Last week my sister and I watched some episodes up to number 7 of season 2, and it was SORT OF PRETTY MUCH the worst television I have ever seen, I don't think I bothered ALL of you with my hatred of H5-0 and I was in a weirdly depressive state, I accept that, but OH MY GOD IT WAS TERRIBLE AND AWFUL AND I was only watching it because my sister liked it, (I wasn't even remotely doing that completeist thing that I did with Fake Battlestar, I would have NEVER LOOKED AT IT AGAIN if it wasn't for her, I wasn't being purposefully awful). It was horrible.

And then tonight, episodes 8-10 of season 2 of Fake 50 made me laugh and sometimes smile. ( SPOILS )

I want to clarify that I wouldn't be THIS overexcited about these episodes if I wasn't, until tonight, pretty much hating Hawaii and everything it chose to be. It's not like it was THE BEST TV EVER. BUT IT WAS NICE. Nice, and watchable, is something of a miracle. I think they must have had someone come in and shout at them about the lack of love, because it was a bit extraordinary. I hope someone else goes in soon and shouts at them about the costuming and hair. (Although I think the costuming and hair departments are just SO OVERWHELMED with love of Daniel Dae Kim that everyone else does just have to fend for themselves.) Danny put on a black t-shirt to go and work with the seals and looked pleasant. That, and a severe hair cut, is ALL HE NEEDS.

(If you have never seen Enemy Mine - apparently this is something that happens sometimes - WATCH IT NOW. WATCH IT BEFORE YOU WATCH HAWAII 5-0. It's about Dennis Quaid(?) being stuck on an alien world with an alien who is played by a man I love and whose name I don't know, he calls Richard Gere 'Mayonnaise' and he is the bounty hunter from AS&J and I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIS EYES, and they are stuck on an alien world and it's BEAUTIFUL and they are ENEMIES but mostly they are just a very obvious moral lesson about war and love and family and stuff, you know, with MPREG AND LOVE AND THIS BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE VOICE THING AND BEARDS. It's from the eighties.)

I have to go outside so instead of that I am trying to find something to post about so that I don't have to. I think it's probably cold outside. Dean Martin says it's really dangerous to go out in the cold and I should just stay inside with him.

Edinburgh zoo are horrible evil and not going to look after their pandas. Zoos make me happy when I think about them and just sad while I'm there. I'm not very good with cages or . . . that thing where you use your brain to imagine things properly. Reality.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar CONTINUES to marry people who are not me.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I went outside and came back. How annoying is this thing where I leave the post entry page open all day? DON'T TELL ME, I DON'T CARE.

I'm watching Necessary Parties now because of Mark-Paul Gosselaar and he is a child, and I am ten minutes into it and his parents are divorcing and he's crying and looking after his little sister, and I'm so worried about him and he's LOVELY. But I would quite like now to watch him in something where he has parents who love him and don't die and he is happy and okay, probably that's SBTB? I'm not watching that.

It's 1988 so Jared is perfect and a bit rebelley and I THINK HE MIGHT REALLY HELP RIGHT NOW in all the prettiest ways possible. MPG is so all american boyey and has silky hair and polo shirts and I just think Jared would love him best. MPG had a lightsabre fight with someone who wasn't Jared. This could SO SO SO SO SO SO SO EASILY have had Jared in it. (In a bit Alan Arkin will make everything better with his voice.)

He's so young. Alan Arkin I am talking about now. HE SHOWED UP IN CHICAGO HOPE AND WAS HIS REAL SON'S REAL FATHER AND KISSED HIM ON HIS MOUTH. I don't know if I mention that enough, it was aces (OH GOD CHICAGO HOPE OH GOD). It's weird that mpg wasn't in chicago hope, isn't it? Eric Stoltz was.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar is going to sue his parents to stop them getting divorced and ruining his little sister's life.

I'm watching Specimen. It's a film where MPG is an alien. He doesn't know that yet. But he dreams about space, and he is fire-proof and I LOVE HIM. When he was little his mum died in a fire and now he can only sleep in water, so he sleeps in the bath, and IT IS ALMOST JUST LIKE THEY WANTED TO MAKE A MERMAN FILM BUT DIDN'T QUITE DARE. I am only twenty minutes in, but so far I adore everything about it, EVERYTHING.

I want Jared to find him (OBVIOUSLY) and they want to sleep together but they are going to DROWN if they sleep in a bath of water, so they have to sleep under the shower for a bit, or just covered in wet towels, I don't know, I can't work out how Jared would help his alien boyfriend, or maybe if Jared turned up he wouldn't be an alien, he'd just be traumatised and Jared would just LOVE HIM BACK TO HEALTH, THAT IS HOW LOVE WORKS SHUT UP.

At the moment Jared is being played by Erin from Jeremiah, and MPG is fighting yobs to protect his honour. He sets fire to things with his eyes. And he persuaded a little boy who was scared of water that water was GREAT just with his eyes because HIS LOVE OF WATER IS INSANE. And now they have this difficult empathic connection thing happening, and . . . maybe Jared is being played by a young child, I know that's terribly wrong, but if MPG is going to have empathic connections with people THEY SHOULD BE JARED OKAY.

Sometimes he doesn't smile at people, because he is alien, or because he is damaged. I don't know. It's very charming. His ears are lovely under water. And he's not ridiculously muscley, he's just BEAUTIFUL.

Now there is a muscley naked wet man with eyeliner on looking for him. I LOVE MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR AND ALL OF HIS CAREER CHOICES.

( Updated spoilers. )

MPG still hasn't held a baby, but Breckin has tweeted about a film about an elephant. Not one he is starring in, which is why I still have blood and breath and things, but a documentary he has seen. Breckin Meyer showing any interest in elephants is sort of my favourite thing ever. So that's nice.

Although not holding a baby yet mpg did have daddy issues so issuey that ( everything went nypd blue for a while. )

I'm at my mother's house, avoiding plumbers and death and carpenters. I'm not supposed to be at my mother's house, hiding. I'm supposed to be doing things. But if you don't tell anyone they will just assume I died and leave me alone. \o/

Edited: I posted this before, when livejournal wasn't alive. Since then MPG has been put in a cell and people come and hug him and promise to get him out of his cell and I am very very very happy about him being in a cell and if Andy doesn't do something soon they're going to send him to Rikers and I am very very very happy about him being sent to Rikers and I feel terrible but ORANGE AND BEAUTIFUL MPG AND HE IS A COP, he won't last a day in Rikers, they'll bruise him <3. But they mustn't send him there, but they might, unless Andy beats up EVERYONE and wins EVERYTHING and Hanna gets her finger out and helps him. The guy who was their witness was murdered by his drug dealer, which isn't helping. And the cop who set him up's partner is refusing to turn on his partner and it's awful because you can't really blame him but YOU HAVE TO BLAME HIM but it's sort of impossible for him so Andy is torn between HATING HIM and UNDERSTANDING HIM and John would know what to do but John isn't here and Andy keeps promising to make everything okay and MPG's dad keeps asking how he can help and mpg has to go 'Andy's helping me, I don't know what else anyone could do' and it's true, no one will help him harder than Andy, but it's sad for his dad who is trying, in amongst the drinking and the prostitutes. MPG's girlfriend is a cop too, but she isn't really doing anything because she's his girlfriend but she's not his partner. And Andy keeps going out to threaten people and everyone watches him go and hopes for the best. It's super terrific.

Last night I dreamed about Jared having sex with Cliff Richard. What? Why? Where did that even come from?

The thing I really like about the trampolining world championship is that nobody is very good at trampolining.

I love bread with honey in it. Why doesn't all the bread have honey in it?

The Young Ali Carter called everyone cunts and said why didn't they just make the world championship a respotted black if that's all people care about???? I LOVE HIM A LITTLE BIT.

Isn't central heating lovely?

( I don't listen to podfic or hate podfic or care about podfic, only in the same ways as I don't care about audio books and stuff. And I am tired. )

I bought Franklin and Bash on dvd. There's a whole thing at the beginning saying that by buying it I am somehow SUPPORTING THE UK FILM INDUSTRY. (a) I don't think I am. and (b) ARSE. I've been carefully not doing that for YEARS now and they've sort of sneakily somehow taken my support for slightly sexist but brilliantly amazing bromantic heaven and used it against me, to support other, probably more sexist and less delightful things. Wankers.

I don't really believe in dvds, and they have no commentary which makes no sense, but they are shiny and clean and I love them. (How could you own breckin meyer and mark-paul and not spend your whole life making them do commentaries??????? ON EVERYTHING? Nobody understands.)

I love that he is making a christmas film, I love so much that he is making a christmas film. I like Amy Smart. I hope it's amazing. Even if it isn't, I just love the picture. (I have become excited about Christmas way too soon. I'm sorry. I apologise.) THEY HAVE PUT HIM IN A SNOW GLOBE. And she has CAUGHT HIM LIKE A TRAP with her scarf, possibly because men HATE LOVE and women have to trick them into it. But maybe not because he is beautiful and smiling and from what I have read it is more a groundshog thing where she has to realise that he's her one true love, rather than him not understanding the romance of Christmas and having to be swayed.

He's in another film, first, with some man that isn't Breckin Meyer. But I'm less excited about that because it's not Christmas.

Breckin Meyer has not made a christmas movie with or without elephants, because breckin meyer hates me.

The thing at the moment that I want MPG and Breckin to make is the Hurog books by Patricia Briggs. I don't know if any of those words are right. I want MPG to be Ward, because he would be AWESOME. And I want Breckin Meyer to play a ghost slave mage dragon. I want Breckin Meyer to play a ghost slave mage dragon MORE THAN I WANT MOST OF THE THINGS I TELL YOU I WANT. ( Read more... )

What else did I want to tell you? I don't remember. I'm thinking of doing another thirty days meme because it's been nearly a year but I still feel a bit guilty about the people who friended me because they thought I loved women. I did spend a few months just loving Rita Connors (I miss her so much, I Love her so much. I am so grateful to Prisoner coming out on dvd that it practically hurts me. I cannot believe people with their not loving Rita Connors. I might do a thirty day meme about Rita Connors.) but I mostly hid that, and since then I've just been in love with slightly terrible white men. I LOVE THEM. I don't know what I would write about for thirty days, if it wasn't Franklin and Bash. I could do thirty pairings that you should love and make sure not all of them were Franklin and Bash. Or I could do thirty more women that I adore so long as this time they were all allowed to be out of Prisoner. Or thirty characters I wish would die, why won't they die????? But they'd all be out of fake battlestar and new who. I might just pick an actual meme and tell you things you already know. I might not do another thirty day meme.

Hm. I know google kind of warned me they were going to turn everything fug. And I know changes on the internet usually just take a bit of getting used to. But if they're planning to make gmail as awful as they just made google reader? I might cry. Why is it important to them that so little of my screen is actually usable?

My sleep isn't well.

PETER BASH IS REALLY REALLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL. I know you know. And/or don't care at all. But it's everything I'm thinking with my brain, so I have to share it with you, for HONESTY. I love his ears, which is obvious of me but all the same. Also the hair on his neck, and his mouth, and the way he looks at people. If I owned him I would dress him in dark blue and touch him more than is probably appropriate.


I love how slutty he is. And vain. And beautiful. I love his balance of wanting to be Franklin&Bash and wanting to be proper. I love that he never really flirts with Hanna. (Even though I sort of desperately want them to kiss more than anything, but it's okay, because they can just get married in nypd blue and it'll be fine and not upset Jared/fandom/everything.) I find it unreasonably attractive that he is smelling things. And that he calls them sweets. I LOVE CLOTHES NEAR HIS SKIN.

I did the post office the other day. lakester, ruthi, and bethbetter various amounts of sweets are on their way to you all at various speeds. Packaging is not the greatest thing you have ever seen, everything is a jumble and slightly sticky.

The other night I dreamed that Jared Franklin was in a box, trapped in a box, being a bit pathetic because he couldn't get out of a box, but everything around him was just ignoring him. It sounds all very subconscious when I write it down, but I don't care, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Everyone was just kind of okay about Jared being sad. We were just like 'Jared's in a box, but that's probably Peter's business, stop bothering us Jared'.

Where has Fringe gone? Why has Fringe gone? I hate US tv.

I'm very tired, and over night my whole insides turned into snot and now it is trying to escape from me, and I can't stop sneezing and I'm too tired for all this sneezing and all this snot. I might make chocolate pear pudding. Did you know that slemslem writes 2s that look like 7s? I didn't know that until I got to the bit that said 7 eggs. People keep interrupting my plans to see shah rukh khan. I hate the heating because it makes me sneeze more, but the cold makes me ill. I'm reading books, which hasn't happened for a while, which is why I mention it. My new toe nail has grown a cuticle. Why don't I have a pill that would just kill my face, my whole face hurts, I just want to switch it off please.

I miss having Jared in a box.

(Franklin and Bash just love each other, it's all they do, and I just don't seem to get tired of it. And I can *feel* Blake and Avon judging me for loving people who are so very american and so happy and just so so easy. But I don't care. They're brilliant. They don't spend ALL their time trying not to love each other. They're just like 'Cuddling? We have literally no issues with that. Blowjobs? Stopped being awkward fifteen years ago. ADMIT OUR TRUE LOVE? Give us maybe two minutes and we'll probably get that done.' I love them.)